I remember the days when I couldn’t manage to get through the whole week without drinking. Never in a million years did I think I would make it to 1000 days sober AF (alcohol free). As this milestone was approaching, I felt inspired to write a blog post of how I did it for those who are struggling and seeking change.
My Story
Before I share how I did it, let me share with you a bit of my story in case anyone is curious about how my drinking started.
I drank and got drunk for the first time when I was 16 and then a couple of years later around 19, I started to drink with an ex-boyfriend at the time. At the age of 21, I experienced my first heartbreak when that ex-boyfriend and I broke up and it was then when I began to drink heavily.
When he and I broke up, I decided to “reinvent” myself by cutting my hair and becoming this girl who loves to party and drink. This was my way of “moving on” and letting go of my ex.
What I did not realize is that I was subconsciously suppressing and numbing the emotional pain that came with the heartbreak among other mental health issues. I say “subconsciously” because the intention was not to numb the pain. In my mind, I was just celebrating life, my successes, and intensifying my feelings of happiness. But underneath all of that was a whole bunch of shit that needed to be felt and dealt with properly.
As I continued to drink, here were some of my drinking behaviors and patterns that I developed:
I was drinking about 3-4 times a week. I needed to have about 3-5 drinks.
I was partying and clubbing. Sometimes I would look to hangout with someone to drink with just because I didn’t want to drink alone. If I didn’t find anyone, I drank alone.
I’ve embarrassed myself at work happy hours, would go to work late or call out which resulted in me feeling shame and guilt.
I had a mentor of mine tell me if I were to continue with my drinking behavior that she couldn’t allow me to place her down as a recommendation on job applications. I had a therapist call me an “alcoholic,” even though I do not identify with that term nor use it in my vocabulary. I also had a doctor tell me that she didn’t see me making it through my 40s if I kept drinking the way I did. I gained so much weight. I was once in the hospital for something unrelated to my drinking and I was told I had an alcohol withdrawal.
At times, I would become aggressive.
I had horrible hangovers in which I would constantly feel nauseous and throw up a lot. My hangovers were so bad, I needed a whole day to fully recover.
I think at one point I was drinking almost 2 bottles of wine. Every time I drank, I was always thinking about my next drink.
I can go on and on but you get the picture, right?
I loved drinking but even through all of this, since my early 20s, I’ve been sober curious. I always had this little voice inside of me that questioned what life would like without alcohol. Yes, even when I was drinking a lot I always wondered who I could become if I became sober. However, I never paid attention to that little voice calling out for sobriety.
It wasn’t until my mid/late 20s when I started to write down in my journal how I wanted to become sober. During that time, I did some things that led me to the decision of giving up alcohol for one year. I honestly had no idea I would make it to 1000 days because the intention was only to be sober for 365 days but here I am and I am so grateful I made it to this point.
Here is How I Made It To 1000 Days Sober AF:
Entertain The Voice Calling Out For Sobriety
Remember how I mentioned I had this little voice inside of me that was calling out for sobriety. I bet if you are reading this, you have that little voice too but maybe the outside noise of society, peers, friends, family and the world is distracting you.
What would it look like if you paid more attention to the little voice inside of you asking what life would be like without alcohol? What would it be like if you were to be more sober curious? What is that little voice inside of you calling out for? Are you giving more attention to the noise of the outside world (society, peers, friends, and family, etc.) than that voice that’s asking for sobriety?
Pay attention to what that voice is saying and asking for. Reflect on it. Journal about it. Talk about it with someone you trust.
Romanticize Sobriety & Who You Could Become If You Gave Up Alcohol
I remember one time I was on a flight drinking and I was daydreaming of all the things I wanted to do. When I would drink, I used to wonder who I could become if I gave up alcohol. While I did not realize it at the time, I do think I was romanticizing sobriety which is part of the reason why I think my desire for sobriety grew stronger over time.
I would imagine how great I would feel if I stopped drinking. I would think about the positive energy I would give off to others if I was sober. I thought about all the benefits of giving up alcohol such as experiencing clarity, growth, losing weight, becoming more healthy, and reaching new levels of spirituality. Overall, I knew that I wanted to be sober so that I can feel more at peace knowing my values, beliefs, and goals are aligning with my behavior. I just knew that if I became sober, I could become the woman I dreamt of becoming and today I can say I am becoming her (even though this journey is never perfect).
So my suggestion to you is how can you romanticize sobriety? What benefits would you gain if you gave up alcohol? What goals could you accomplish if you were sober? Who would you become if alcohol was no longer in the picture? Who else would benefit from your sobriety? What wild dreams would you be able to make a reality without drinking?
I pose this because honestly I know a lot of people struggle with the fear of missing out when giving up alcohol but what opportunities are you missing out on by holding onto drinking? By continuing to drink, you may be missing out on growth, healing, new self-discoveries, more connection with others, and accomplishing your goals/dreams, etc.
Is it worth holding onto alcohol when you are putting at risk all the beautiful things sobriety has to offer?
Write Letters To Alcohol
I am not sure how and why I started to write letters to alcohol when I was still drinking but I can see how it helped me to evaluate my relationship to it. As I look back on my letters to alcohol in my journal I can see what I loved and hated about drinking. I think it revealed to me the dynamics I had with alcohol.
My recommendation to you is to try writing a letter or multiple letters to alcohol. You can do a general one or every time you want to drink or after you drink. As you read through your letters try to look for patterns, dynamics, triggers, or fears you may be having and reflect on what it means for you or what it’s teaching you.
Start With Small Goals & Work Towards Bigger Goals Later
When I started to set goals for how long I wanted to be sober, I started with small goals. My first goal was waiting till Friday at least to drink because usually I would start drinking around midweek. Then, I set a goal towards 7 days without drinking. Afterwards, I decided to work on the goal of 30 days of sobriety which led to about 2 months back in 2019. This was not perfect as it sounds but it definitely helped me kind of build muscle and served as proof that I could do it as long as I kept trying. Finally, in September 2020 I decided to give up alcohol for one year.
I think one of the hardest things for people trying to cut down on alcohol or give it up is that they may think that they have to become sober forever. I am here to tell you that you do not have to decide if you want to give up drinking permanently.
Everyone’s values, beliefs, goals, and journeys are different. I think it’s important for you to be honest with yourself about what you truly want. I also think it’s important for you to be honest with what you feel you can do.
My recommendation is to start with small goals. Pick a small number of days you want to be sober for and work from there.
Read Books On Sobriety & Alcohol Addiction
Before I gave up alcohol, the first book I read on sobriety was Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington and her book played a huge role in my journey. It was the book that led me to embrace my sober curiosity.
The second book I read on sobriety was Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker. I already felt empowered in my choice to give up alcohol but this book multiplied that feeling of empowerment.
The third book I read was The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace which provided a lot of knowledge and science behind the effects of alcohol.
Overall, these three books helped me by teaching me the truth about alcohol and reaffirming why it’s better to live sober.
So my suggestion to you is to find books or online content on alcohol addiction and sobriety. The more you educate yourself the more self-aware you become and the better choices you can make.
Your Desire To Change Has To Be Stronger Than Your Desire To Drink
I do think one of the reasons why I’ve been able to make the decision to give up alcohol is because my desire to change was stronger than my desire to drink.
I really wanted to change, heal, and experience transformation. This doesn’t mean that I had no desire to drink or that I didn’t miss drinking because trust me there were times when I wanted to go back to drinking and there are moments now that I think about drinking but deep down I know it’s not worth it.
This is where you really have to be so honest and real with yourself. Do you want to continue down the same path with your drinking patterns? Or do you want to experience change, healing, and transformation?
Find Meaning In Your Sobriety
As my 29th birthday approached, I thought to myself how much I always wanted to give up alcohol for 1 year before 30. The reason for this is that I did not want to enter my 30s with the same lifestyle of binge drinking and dealing with horrible hangovers.
So on my 29th birthday which was on September 12, 2020, I gave up alcohol. While I never thought my sober date would be on my birthday, it felt meaningful to do it this way because it meant that the following year on my 30th birthday I would be 1 year sober. What better gift than 1 year of sobriety on your birthday? Now, at 31 years old, I am living my sober dream.
I believe doing this helped me stay accountable, driven, and inspired to reach my goal of one year of sobriety.
Feel free to take this idea if you want. Also, you don’t have to find the perfect time to give up alcohol. But, if you can find meaning, purpose, and/or a reason(s) why to help you feel more inspired or motivated to meet your goal, it can help.
Focus On Hobbies You Enjoy
I think finding new hobbies and reconnecting with old ones has been a big reason why I also have been able to stay sober.
Now, I know some people may say to themselves, “But, I don’t know what I like.” But, did you know that I didn’t know I liked writing until I gave up alcohol and chose to document my sobriety on a blog and social media? While it was unintentional, giving up alcohol and blogging led me to discover something new about myself which was my interest in writing.
I also went back to taking dance classes at the age of 30 since it’s always been my dream to become a dancer. If I had been drinking I don’t think I would have been able to learn how to dance and build confidence naturally (even though I still struggle with these things, I know alcohol would have made it worse).
So for you, think back to when you were a child or teenager, what interests, curiosities, or dreams did you have? How about now as an adult, is there anything that sparks your interest in what you want to try? What are some new things you want to explore? Sometimes you really don’t know what you may like or not but here is where I tell you…sometimes you have to open yourself up to try something new and explore.
Finding A Space With People Who Have Similar Values & Goals
I never went to AA. I probably went to one or two online sober groups but something didn’t feel right for me. This wasn’t because of anything personal but I realized that I needed something different. It wasn’t that long into my 1st year of sobriety when I realized that I am more than my sobriety. When you give up alcohol, it makes sense why your sobriety becomes the center of who you are. There is nothing wrong with this at all. However, for me, I wanted to explore myself outside of sobriety. After a while I found myself in different communities or spaces where the focus was on personal growth and I felt that it aligned for me.
So for you, maybe AA works or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe sober groups can be beneficial to you or not. You may want and need groups where the focus or topic is something other than sobriety. I think it’s important for you to find and honor what works for you.
Document Your Journey
Did you know I shared my whole first year of sobriety on my blog and social media publicly? Yes! For me, I found it to be helpful and also meaningful to share for accountability and it was beautiful to know that my journey was inspiring others.
Now, I am not saying to share your whole journey. If you want to do that, great! If not, that’s great too! Some other ways to document your journey is by journaling or making a scrapbook. You can choose to blog anonymously on a blog or social media account. You can share openly on a blog or by starting a Youtube channel.
I think this is a great way to document your journey, have accountability, express yourself, and/or help or connect with others too.
Final Thoughts
As I mentioned before, the intention for me was to give up alcohol for 1 year. I was pretty sure that I would go back to having at least 1-2 drinks. Little did I know that I would fall in love with sobriety.
When I reflect back on my journey, I can see how stepping into the unknown has lead me to discover beautiful and not so beautiful things about myself.
When I gave up alcohol, I had no idea I would discover my love for writing.
When I gave up alcohol, I had no idea that I would discover new parts of myself.
When I gave up alcohol, I had no idea that I would reconnect with my big dreams and goals.
When I gave up alcohol, I had no idea that I would be diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
When I gave up alcohol, I had no idea that my inner strength and resilience would be challenged or tested.
When I gave up alcohol, I had no idea that I would struggle so much with my mental health.
I often use all of this as a reminder to myself to be okay with the unknown and better yet…to keep taking steps in the unknown because maybe just on the other side I might find something worthwhile.
So my message to you is…
Be okay with the unknown.
Sobriety can offer so many gifts AND it can reveal all the shit inside of you that you are going to have to deal with.
But trust me when I tell you…sobriety is worth it. *getting emotional as I wrote that*
I truly hope this blog post has helped you if you got up until this point.
If you have any questions or would like to share something with me…leave a comment below or feel free to send me a message on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook.
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