The question that came up for me during April was, “Can I go with the flow of things?”
As I reflected more on this question, I began to think maybe I could go with the flow and not resist or push for something more, less, or different but go with what comes up for me (the positive and negative).
Can I exist with the frustration that my job gives me? And, can I also exist with feeling okay with my job? Can I coexist with it all?
I think the reason these questions came up was because I notice there are times when I am extremely frustrated and overwhelmed with my job that it makes me want to leave. But, then there are times I feel okay with my job—on days that aren’t terrible, I start to feel maybe I can do this a little while longer.
Believe it or not, I think I was reaching a point where maybe I was coming more to terms with my job.
So, as I write this April reflection at the start of May, I want to say that my answer to “Can I go with the flow of things?” when it comes to my job is “I don’t know.”
I say, “I don’t know” because I had a couple of challenges arise at the beginning of May that are making me rethink everything again about how I really feel about the career I chose.
I am still reflecting and processing all these things.
Other Exciting Life Things & Updates
In the month of April, I finally got professionally filmed while dancing!
As someone who struggles with self-consciousness, getting professionally filmed while dancing was a HUGE thing for me!
I remember first recording myself on my phone at the start of my dance journey. I was so nervous, it felt like I blacked out, like my mind went blank and I wasn’t fully present/aware.
And when we are put into small groups, I get nervous because of course this gives people an opportunity to watch you dance.
But after 3 years of taking dance classes and recording myself with my phone, I felt a bit more confident getting professionally filmed even though I still felt nervous.
This goes to show that with time and practice, we can learn & grow even when we experience doubt or uncomfortable feelings.
Reflecting on this experience there are two things I’m grateful for:
I’m grateful for learning how to do the things you want WITH the discomfort. We often wait to be 100% confident to do the things we want to do but the reality is that the doubt sometimes never leaves. Which is why we must learn to do the thing we want WITH the discomfort.
I’m grateful for how I went about starting my dance journey and NOT jumping into getting professionally filmed at the beginning of my dance journey. I’m grateful for the pace in which I went because I felt that all the heels classes I took prior to getting filmed led me to be more prepared for this moment. I felt like it was perfect timing to push myself out of my comfort zone.
I dedicated this milestone to the parts of me that struggles with self-consciousness, anxiety, and overthinking…look we did it! And we did amazing!
l am so proud of myself because it’s always been my dream since I was a teenager to be a dancer and to be able to express myself in this way.
Click here to see my first solo professional dance video.
Meeting Adrienne Bailon
Another exciting thing that happened in April was that I met Adrienne Bailon!
As a 90’s girly, meeting Adrienne was MAJOR!
I am so thankful to my friend Emily Hart Lopez (who is an amazing professional dancer and teacher) who invited me to go to see the musical “Take The Lead” where Adrienne had a role.
When she came out on stage, I cried a bit. LOL!
And, I had no idea that I would have gotten the opportunity to meet Adrienne in real life.
It felt like a dream come true!
While everyone remembers Adrienne from The Cheetah Girls, I came to know and love her because of 3LW.
She is someone I definitely look up to!
Life has been feeling “blah” for me for a while but April 2025 has been a great month…filled with more highlights.
That’s it for April! Let’s see what May has in store for me!
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