It is March 15th as I write this and I am writing my February monthly reflection super late. I changed the date on this post so it’s organized in my blog. Even though February has passed, I am writing this because I want to commit to what I started, which is to do a monthly reflection blog post as a way to process, self-express, and to document my journey.
The words that came to me as I reflected throughout the month of February was, “even though I overthink a lot, I still find a way to move forward.”
It is pretty clear that I am an overthinker!
While I have gotten better with my anxiety, overthinking is still something I do. But, I’ve come to realize that in the midst of the anxiety and overthinking, I still find a way to move forward.
As I write this, I am realizing more and more how true this is but for now I will only mention some examples of this from what is currently happening in my life.
Let’s start with my teeth! LOL! I haven’t shared on social media but I am on Invisalign. Your girl is finally fixing her teeth although no one ever noticed that some of my teeth are not really straight.
I was happy to have started the process but soon after the overthinking crawled in. I began fixating on how my teeth looked prior to starting the process and questioning if the aligners were making things worse. I kept looking at my teeth and kind of spiraling in doing online research.
I can’t tell you how long it lasted but I got past it and today I am not overthinking my Invisalign treatment as much. I could have easily taken off my aligners, stopped the process, and reached out to my dentist but I didn’t. I continued and moved forward with my life.
And, sure, I still overthink, do a little research, and look at my teeth a few times but it’s not as much as before.
The point here is that I still found a way to move forward.
Another example is healing my injury. When I began to experience more symptoms in my hips and legs, I definitely spiraled. I was overthinking and doing so much research online. At times, I would cry.
After feeling disappointed with the lack of attention and support I was getting from one physical therapy office and then trying to manage on my own, I finally decided to find a physical therapist I could work with 1:1.
Since then, I’ve made significant progress in my healing journey with my hips and legs. Today, I am feeling little to no symptoms.
This was another example of how regardless of the overthinking and worrying I experience, I still find a way to move forward. I may overthink my physical discomfort but I still stretch and exercise and that is my way of moving forward.
I may get caught up in my head about stuff but I always find a way to move forward by doing what I want or need to do.
I know I wasn’t going to share all the examples but here are a couple of things I’ve overthought but still moved forward.
In 2020, I overthought my blog. I kept going back and forth whether or not to do a blog or vlog. I was overthinking my domain name. Despite all the overthinking, I still launched a blog and till this day I am blogging!
The past few years, my OCD/anxiety has latched onto different things causing me to ruminate and spiral. But through therapy, I had to confront some of those “fears.” While I haven’t totally overcome my fears, I can say I have made progress.
Over ten years ago, I had major surgeries on my stomach in which I thought I would never be able to get over my scars. But then years later I modeled on a runway showcasing my scars a little bit to promote self-love and body positivity. And, throughout the years, I’ve publicly shared pictures of my scars online while sharing my story.
I don’t know but to me this sounds like someone who always finds a way to move forward in her life even when she feels stuck or that things won’t get better.
Ironically, I think this blog post contradicts my last one where I share that I’ve been feeling like I haven’t had any forward momentum. But, I think this applies more to the career aspect of my life because as it relates to that I do feel “stuck,” and not really knowing where I am headed.
So while in the career aspect of my life, I may not feel like I am moving forward, thankfully I am feeling some forward momentum in my mental & physical health, self-love, and dance journey. And, for that I am grateful!
Other Life Things & Updates
Reconnecting With The Past
One of the big things that happened in February was that I connected with someone from my past. This person was an ex-boyfriend whom I was in love with.
I seriously thought I would never ever speak to my ex-boyfriend after our break up. So it was such a surprise to see his name pop up on my socials! Eventually we caught up and had a conversation on our lives and what we have been up to.
I don’t plan on sharing much detail but I thought it was significant enough to share because when he and I broke up, it was one of the hardest things I experienced in my 20s. It took me a while (and I mean A WHILE) to fully heal and let him go. I thought that maybe I would have lingering thoughts and feelings about him after reconnecting but ever since our conversation, I haven’t thought about him the way I thought I would.
Updates On Healing My Injury
As I mentioned before I started working with a physical therapist who is providing me 1:1 guidance and support. For the past month, I am thankful to say I’ve made a lot of improvement to the point that I now experience little to no symptoms. It’s not perfect but I am glad that I am getting better.
After 4 sessions, my physical therapist gave me the green light to go back to dance and I am now taking a 6 week absolute beginner contemporary workshop!
During my first class, the teacher said something in the lines of, “be grateful for what your body can do.”
As someone with an injury, those words hit home for me.
Sure it sucks to be experiencing physical discomfort but at least I can still move my body.
My body is still able to do what it can do at this time.
I can still dance.
I can still dance.
I can still dance.
For that I am grateful.
That’s it for February! Let’s see what March has in store for me even though we are already half through LOL! But interestingly enough, I am releasing this at the end of March even though I drafted it on March 15th! So let’s see what my reflections are for March!
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