Honoring the lightness & darkness within me.
I recognize that there are beautiful aspects to who I am
And I also recognize that there are ugly parts to who I am
There is good within me
There is bad within me
The good doesn’t make me better than
The bad doesn’t make me less than
They just make me human
Sometimes I am self-reflective and other times I obsessively think
Sometimes I respond and other times I react
Sometimes I have my shit together and other times I’m a mess
Sometimes I am emotional/sensitive/caring and other times I just don’t care
Sometimes I can see the beauty in me and other times I feel so f*cked up inside
Sometimes I’ve been the best friend and other times I’ve distance myself without a say
Sometimes I can see greatness in others and other times I think the worst of others
Sometimes I feel loved and other times I doubt if people really love or like me
I see the lightness within me
I see the darkness within me
This is what makes me human
There is no such thing as permanently getting rid of the darkness/shadows/imperfections
So I am learning to be with these parts of myself
Some parts I choose to improve
Some parts I feel like I don’t want to do nothing about
Other parts I am learning to accept
I am finally letting go little by little that there is something wrong with me
And slowly…honoring the lightness & darkness within me
About This Writing Piece:
When my OCD flared up again this year, I began to have thoughts that made me question who I am. This experience made me spiral as depression crept in.
However, through therapy and seeking support from my mentor, I learned different tools and perspectives that helped me navigate my mental health. Among those things was self-acceptance.
Because of what I went through, I had to face dark thoughts and parts of me that I’ve judged so much. Through this experience, I learned that there was nothing wrong with me for the thoughts and/or feelings I was having. I was just having a human experience.
Additionally, I learned that as human beings we are bound to have positive and negative thoughts. And most importantly, since we are human beings we will have beautiful aspects to who we are and also dark parts/shadows/imperfections.
As I reflected on what I was learning, I got the words “honoring the lightness & darkness within me.” These words then became an idea for this writing piece I just shared with you along with the photos. I chose the sun and moon shirt because it is often said, “the universe is a reflection of us.” Just like there is daylight around us, lightness is within us and just like there is nighttime, darkness is within us.
Currently, I am in the part of my journey where I can recognize the beauty in me but truthfully the negative parts clouds it all. I’ve become more aware of my flaws, imperfections, shadows, and negative thoughts and stories in my mind, etc. I am even becoming aware of new beliefs and values that I tend to judge myself for having and still learning to find a way to own them and be okay with.
There are parts of me I’ve learned to love and embrace. Then there are other parts of me that I am working to improve and/or accept. Then there are parts that I perceive as something that needs to be “fixed” but I rather not do anything about and this has been the hardest thing I had to recognize within me. As someone who is passionate about personal growth, I had to learn that not everything I learn or read from self-help needs to be taken as absolute truth and applied to my life. I am learning that I don’t need to “fix” or change certain areas of my life. I don’t need to apply everything I am learning or what I consume from the self-help world. I am learning to live by what’s true to me and not by what is taught or what other people think is “right” or needed.
While I am still learning to love, accept, and be with all the parts of who I am, I hope these words can continue to immerse themselves within me so I can live by them. It is my hope that these words can also help you love, accept, and be with all of who you are.
Thank you for reading <3
P.S – If you are in a place in your life where you want to start your self-love journey or learn to love yourself more, I’d love to help you! Book a call here and let’s find out if we are a good fit for one another!
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