My Journey With Giving Up Something That Was No Longer Serving Me
Before I share how to give up things no longer serving you, here is my journey with giving up alcohol. I personally know how hard it is to give something up that isn’t serving you. I drank alcohol heavily for 10 years. In my early 20s, I had an inner voice calling out for sobriety. But, I didn’t listen to that inner voice until my late 20s. At 29 years old, I finally gave up alcohol.
However, it was not as easy as it sounds. My relationship with alcohol was a love-hate relationship. I loved drinking and how it made me feel. I loved drinking so much that when I was planning on giving it up, I cried because I was going to miss it. On the flip side of my “love” for drinking were things I did that I was not proud of. I experienced feelings of shame and guilt and had horrible hangovers. I used to call out of work or go in late. The list of things I did that I was not proud of can go on but I’ll leave it there.
No one knew the struggle I was having with alcohol because on the outside I was functioning and successful. Although I knew sobriety would be better for me, I continued to drink until I decided that I did not want to enter my 30s with the same lifestyle.
Today, I am 32 years old and I’ll be reaching 4 years sober this September of 2024.
If you are struggling on how to give up things no longer serving you, I know how hard it is. The whole process of drinking and my inner voice calling out for sobriety lasted about 10 years before I quit drinking.
Despite the fact that I kept drinking even when I knew life would be better sober, there were things I did that I believe helped me give up alcohol. I will be sharing these things in this blog post with hopes it can help you.
Please note that even though I am sharing tips that helped me give up drinking, for you, it might not be alcohol, but it may be a relationship or an unhelpful habit, etc., you can still take what you need and see how it best applies to your life.
How To Give Up Things No Longer Serving You
Journaling
It wasn’t until my mid 20s when I started to write down in my journal how I wanted to become sober. In my journal, I would write about the reasons I wanted to quit drinking. Additionally, I wrote letters to alcohol. I am not sure how and why I started to write letters to alcohol when I was still drinking. But I can see how it helped me to evaluate my relationship to it. As I look back on my letters to alcohol I can see what I loved and hated about drinking. I think it revealed to me the dynamics I had with alcohol.
For you, you can simply begin to journal about the thing that is no longer serving you. You can start however you want. There is no right or wrong. Here are some questions that can guide you in your journaling if you don’t know where to begin:
Where did it all begin?
Without judgment, what may have caused you to fall into this thing (the thing that is no longer serving you)?
If you continue on this path with this thing, how will it affect you?
On the flip side, if you give it up, how will your life change within days, months, and years?
Who do you imagine yourself becoming if you gave this thing up?
If applicable, write a letter(s) to this thing no longer serving you.
Therapy
I had a therapist flat out tell me what I was an alcoholic, a term I do not identify with. While it was hard to hear, it opened my eyes to take a deeper look at my relationship with alcohol. In addition, I had another therapist pose questions and share her thoughts about my relationship with alcohol that made me reflect more deeply about my drinking. This particular therapist told me one day, “maybe you really don’t want to give up alcohol.” This statement made me question my desires. What did I really want? If I wanted to stop drinking, why am I not? Why am I not taking steps to try to stop?
Therapy is a powerful tool that can help us build more self-awareness and make connections or realizations about the things we are experiencing in our lives. I highly recommend therapy for anyone who wants to give up things no longer serving them.
If therapy is something not accessible or something you still are hesitant about, I recommend finding self-help books or podcasts that can guide you in reflecting deeper.
Before I gave up alcohol, the first book I read on sobriety was Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington and her book played a huge role in my journey. It was the book that led me to embrace my sober curiosity.
So I have no doubt that self-help books or podcasts can be beneficial.
Setting Small Goals
When I started to set goals for how long I wanted to be sober, I began with small goals. My first goal was waiting till Friday at least to drink because usually I would start drinking around midweek. Then, I set a goal for 7 days without drinking. Afterwards, I decided to work on the goal of 30 days of sobriety which led to about 2 months back in 2019. This was not perfect as it sounds but it definitely helped me kind of build a muscle and served as proof that I could do it as long as I kept trying. Finally, in September 2020 I decided to give up alcohol for one year.
I know the example I am using is for alcohol but depending on what it is that you are trying to give up, starting with small goals can help you. Whatever goal you have in mind, try to find ways to make it more easier, attainable, and realistic for yourself. By doing this, you can help yourself build that “muscle” or proof for your brain that it is possible to give up something that is not working for you.
Be Honest With Yourself About What You Really Want
Is your desire for change stronger than the thing that keeps holding you back?
Anina Alvarez
The most important thing that helped me was that my desire to be sober was stronger than my desire to drink. I think the reason I gave up alcohol was because I had this deep desire to not want to enter my 30s with the same drinking lifestyle I had in my 20s. I really wanted to change, heal, and experience transformation. This doesn’t mean that I had no desire to drink or that I didn’t miss drinking. There were times when I wanted to go back and at times I think about drinking but I know it’s not worth it.
Sometimes, we have to be so honest with ourselves and ask:
Is my desire for change stronger than the thing that is no longer serving me?
Do I want to continue down the same path with the thing that is holding me back?
Don’t I want to experience change, healing, and/or transformation?
If your desire for change is stronger than the thing that is no longer serving you, begin to take small steps toward what you want.
Final Thoughts On Giving Up Things No Longer Serving You
While I was able to give up the thing that wasn’t serving me which was alcohol, I still am working on letting go of certain things in my life. It’s always a work in progress.
As you begin to work on giving up things that no longer serve you, I hope you can remember to be understanding with yourself because it is hard. No matter how many times you may fall back, remember a new moment is a new opportunity to try again. As a long as you keep taking steps toward what you want, I am sure you can find what will finally help you give up that thing that no longer serves you.
If you are in a place where you need some support navigating letting go what is not serving you, I invite you to book a call to see how life coaching with me can help! Schedule a call with me here.
Thank you for reading! <3
What is no longer serving you? How is this affecting your life? What steps can you take to begin letting this go? What life can you imagine if you gave up what was no longer serving you? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below!
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