Recently, I’ve been dealing with a bit of a minor skin issue. Although it is minor, I can’t help but to worry that it will not get resolved. I’ve tried so many home remedies and eventually it just got worse. So now a doctor prescribed a medicine for me in which I’ve found relief but I am stressed thinking I’m not going to heal completely. The only reason I feel this way is because I’ve been doing research online and have come across unsuccessful stories. I know I shouldn’t do this because everyone is different and it’s just going to make me worry even more. It’s been really hard for me to learn how to let go, trust, and believe I will be okay and most importantly focus on the things I can control.
So why am I sharing somewhat of a personal skin issue I have on my blog (I know, it’s kind of weird lol)? Well, because worrying, obsessing, overthinking, and seeking control is an aspect of how I am and how I deal with uncertainty or the unknown. This has shown up in my life as it relates to thinking about what is next in my life. I’ve experienced so much confusion the past year or so and I don’t know if I dealt with it in the best way possible or maybe I tried my best but I am not giving myself credit. I do think I could have done better and I kind of knew what I needed to do, which is to let go, surrender, trust, and do the things I was able to do.
The past year as I mentioned before has been all about me trying to figure out what I want to do next. I’ve been trying to figure out my purpose. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I’ve questioned the career I choose. I’ve over analyzed my ego and what ego is. I’ve googled so many questions about these things that were on my mind. At one point, I even thought I was probably experiencing philosophical/existential OCD. If you don’t know, I have been diagnosed with mild OCD so I thought my OCD was just latching onto something. It’s been an overwhelming experience.
I can seriously go on and on about everything I thought about, learned, and discovered but when it really comes down to it I know what I have to do. Going through this whole process, I know I have to learn how to let go, surrender, trust, and focus on what I can control and create for myself. While I may not have the answers, I know what I need to do. I can also choose to adopt new ideas, perspectives, and lessons that make the most sense to me and apply it to my life and allow flexibility to change if and when something doesn’t feel aligned or right.
So how does my skin problem relate to what I’ve been experiencing in my journey? Well, the same way I am not 100% sure what will happen with my skin is the same way I am not 100% sure about how my journey will unfold. The same way I don’t have a solid solution for my skin issue is the same way I don’t have all the answers about my purpose, career, and my journey in general.
I can’t control how long it will take for my skin problem to be fully healed but I can control how I take care of myself. I can’t know for certain what is the next right thing for me in my journey but I can take one small step and figure it out along the way. If a medication that was prescribed to me doesn’t resolve the issue, I can always try something else. If I try something new in my journey and it doesn’t work out then I can always try something else. Instead of googling, researching, and overthinking about my journey and my skin issue, I can simply choose to relax, let go, and focus on what I can control because the added worry and stress does not truly help.
It may sound weird but I think having this skin problem is an opportunity to teach me how to really let go, trust, and focus on what I can control and create for myself.
Here is little something I created and placed on a wall in my apartment to serve as a reminder:
Do you struggle with the unknown or uncertainty? Do you find yourself seeking control? How do you manage when you catch yourself overthinking, stressing, or worrying? How do you try to let go of things and trust the process?
P.S – I am currently off social media. I am not sure when I’ll return.
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